Happy Birthday to Alyssa!

Alyssa is 5 today....It is so crazy how fast the years are going!  She is a ball of fire:  feisty, fun, fierce, etc.

Since her birthday is on a Wednesday, we won't do our family party until the weekend.  But, we did do a little celebration, just for us...

She got her first real bike, a helmet, a fuzzy monster thing that she begged for...and a birthday balloon - which she has wanted all year!

Happy 5th Birthday, Alyssa!!!

School Days....

August is almost over, we celebrated our 16th anniversary yesterday, and we now have all four school aged kids in school, officially!

Today was Alyssa's 1st full day of school.  She is in the Kindergarten Readiness Class this year, we have been doing phase in days the past few days...Doesn't she look happy?  She is pretty excited to be at the same school as the twins this year...I am too...no more driving all the way to Eagleville every day!

The other 3 kiddos started on August 10th - they are doing pretty well and seem to like their teachers.  Don't they look big?  Zach is in the 6th grade - we are officially "old" now that we have a middle-schooler!  His shirt tucked in has absolutely nothing to do with my fashion sense - they have to tuck them in for middle school...Kind of nerdy, if you ask me, but it is for safety reasons (they want to make sure the kids don't have bad things in their pockets)...He is doing the Cross Country team this year and really seems to enjoy running.  Reagan and Emma are in the 3rd grade...sure have come a long way since they were 3 lbs 6 oz and 4 lbs 7 oz!

Here's to a great school year!  Hoping it is much less drama filled than the last one...

Oh, and I forgot to mention that Ashleigh is kind of, well....sad...that they are all gone, especially Alyssa.  She has been telling me that she is going to Kindergarten "tomorrow"...Sadly, I am sure that it will seem like tomorrow for me!  The years are going by so fast, I just want her to stay little for longer...

Our little miss turns three...

Today is Ashleigh's 3rd birthday.  Time sure does fly when you are having fun!  It is crazy to think that my sweet baby is now a sassy, potty trained, into everything, little girl who thinks she is bigger than she really is.  

I have thoroughly enjoyed Ashleigh ever since before she was born.  Probably my most enjoyable pregnancy, easiest baby and toddler.  She has been so much fun!

Last night, I slaved away over a new dress so that she could wear it to church on her birthday...nothing like waiting until the last minute (story of my life).  Today I made her cake/cupcakes for her family party.  She is birthday buddies with Kade, so we had a mexican dinner at our house with cake and ice cream.  As always, it is a blast when the cousins all get together and play!  And the noise level is CRAZY!

All the little girls at play, including Sophie

So excited over her backpack!

Ashleigh got her first bike from us, a helmet from Grandma and Grandpa, a backpack, a pony set from her aunts and uncles/cousins, and a painting book from our dear friends, the Philburns.  All in all, she is a happy and very tired little girl!

A picture is worth 1,000 words!

Happy 3rd Birthday Ashleigh Kate!  We love you so much and look forward to watching you grow even more!

Easter

Easter Sunday was pretty low key at our house.  We celebrated the night before with a huge egg hunt and cook out at Mom and Dad's place.  The kids had a ball, got completely sugared up and ran around like lunatics.  Watching Reagan and Emma paired up in the 3 legged race was a little worrisome.  He took off running and dragged her behind him!  I was afraid she would end up with a broken ankle.

Sunday was good.  I stayed up late on Saturday night making the skirts for the girls to wear...I have definitely been procrastinating too much lately!  We went to church (on time) and came home later to roast beef w/carrots and potatoes in the crockpot...yum.  I was only able to snap a few pictures, none of them very good, I'm afraid.  It is really difficult to have so many brats sweet children look at the camera without grimacing, I guess.

For posterity...

And yes, Ashleigh is picking the flowers out of my pot and putting them in her mouth...

Here is a cute pic I got that is Ashleigh only, sans flower:

Things That Go Bump in the Night...

It's a cool night.  For some reason, I am restless in my sleep.  4 am and dawn is just around the corner.  I am picturing the road that we live on.  We are playing in the yard, you and I.  All of a sudden, you start running on the side of the road.  You have a head start and I can't catch you.  You dart into the street...run back to the side...dart out again.  I am running, breathless, screaming for you to stop.  You don't listen...after all, you are two...

Then, it happens.  The truck that is barreling down our road, just like they all do.  Apparently, speed limits don't mean anything in the country.  I scream louder, and run faster.  You dart again, right in front of the truck.  My subconscious is hysterical.  I kneel next to you and gather your small, lifeless body into my arms and rock.  

Then I wake up and look at the clock.  My heart is racing, my mind is spinning.  All I want is to pull you out of bed and hold you, check you over to make sure that you are okay.  That would be silly, why wake you up at 4 am?  I doze, on and off for another hour...still processing it in my mind.  At 5 am, I hear you cry out.  I jump out of bed and go to your room.  "My feet are cold", you say...I gather your sweet little body into my arms and bring you into my bed.  You snuggle your warm little body into mine, digging your ice cold feet into me.  I hold you and my heart calms down, the panic has subsided.

Sometimes, even Mommies have nightmares.  Much worse than monsters and things that go bump in the night. 

"March"ing into Spring...

Here in Tennessee, we have had a strangely warm winter this year...There have been many springlike days to trick us into wanting to pull out the capri pants and sandals, go walking on the nature trail, and plan a vacation!  Then, the next day is filled with nasty rain and wind...All in all, you really can't complain much about the 70 degree weather we have been having in February!

The funny thing about this, is that even though it has been warmer, the winter blahs have still descended upon us.  We want REAL spring, where the flowers and trees will grow and not freeze, park days where the bathroom is actually open (it is rough when you are potty training and there is no potty nearby), and little girls in flippy little skirts and pony tails.

I am happy to report that we are almost there!  The sunlight is peeking through...with the end of February upon us and the beginning of March nearly here, the grass will become green again and the little onions will start growing in our yards!

So, if it has been a dark winter for anyone else, like it has been for us - we are almost there!  Hang in there and I'll see you on the other side...we are "leaping" into spring!

Happy Leap Day!

And a special shout out to my nephew, Trevor, who is celebrating his 2nd Leapyear birthday today!  He is 8 in actuality, but it is a special day that he really only sees every four years..

Happy Birthday Trevor!

Four (Responding to a tag)

So, I am a stalker follower of Becky's blog and today I noticed that she tagged me to post...Good for me because I am rapidly losing the month of February and I put on my bucket list that I was going to blog at least 2 times/month...So - here is post #1 for February...

Four:

Four things that I am obsessed with lately:

1.  Trying to get my kids under control...they are crazy little lunatics right now...not sure if it is just that they are stir-crazy or what, but enough already!

2.  Reading...Reading is my escape from, well....everything...I have been reading a lot the past few months...probably because my kids are driving me crazy!

3.  Fabric remnant bins...you find the cutest little pieces of cheap fabric in the remnant bins!  Perfect for little skirts or shorts.  Not for me - for my kids...I couldn't squeeze my left toe into a fabric remnant!

4.  Thinking of new ways to make my little house feel bigger...it isn't working...yet.  I have a lot of ideas that I am anxious to implement...I think I am going to get rid of all the furniture and we can just sit on cushions on the floor...that should make it feel very spacious, don't you think???

4 Things I'm Good At:

1.  Cooking.  I am a good cook.  Not afraid to say it.  I really enjoy cooking, it relaxes me.  Baking really makes me feel happy, but I have to be careful, because if I bake too much, then my jeans don't fit and then I am sad.

2.  Knowing my body.  When something is going wrong - I usually know.  A few weeks ago, I just felt awful.  No energy, wanted a nap everyday, depressed, etc.  I decided to go have my thyroid checked and sure enough, I needed a medication increase.  If I had waited until my regularly scheduled appointment, the problem would have been a lot worse.  I am happy to report that after a few weeks on the new dose, my energy is coming back and I feel SO much better.

3.  My job.  I enjoy my little piddly part-time job that helps pay the bills.  I've done it over 7 years now (closed loans) and I am really good with the people.  The break is nice too...I also like how it allows me to be with the kids as much as possible...Some days that is more of a blessing than others ;)

4.  Telling people what to do Giving Advice.  Yes, I am bossy.  I read a lot and I have been through a lot and I research things out.  So, if you come to me with a problem, or just need to vent - I am a jack-of-all-trades at helping out.

4 Things I'm Looking Forward to This Year:

1.  School starting in the fall...whoops, did I say that out loud?  I mean, for goodness sakes, it isn't even spring yet...I have to admit that I really dread the dog days of summer when my kids are bored out of their minds and can't go outside because it is too hot...I think that the start of school is a relief to all of us!

2.  Spring.  I love Spring.  I want to plant flowers and plants.  I hate how dead everything is right now...My house needs some color on the outside, but I have to wait until it is warm...

3.  Ashleigh being completely potty trained.  We are almost there...so close.  A few accidents here and there, nothing major.  We haven't bought pull-ups in weeks.  This will be the 1st time in over 12 years that we haven't had to buy diapers...

4.  A trip.  I don't know where we are going - Disney World will probably not be for us this year since they are being super stingy with the discounts (the only way we could afford it before)...But, we are going somewhere, even if it is only for a few days.

4 Foods I Eat the Most:

1.  Mexican Food.  Love it, love it, love it...Especially the shrimp quesadillas that I have been making lately, and chips and good salsa...Mmmmm, Mmmmm, Mmmmmmm...

2.  Fruit.  I am really on a fruit kick right now.  Pineapple (even though it makes my throat itch), mandarin oranges and the little cuties, strawberries, etc.

3.  Soup.  Usually I make a crockpot of some type of soup every week.  It stretches the budget and feeds us for a few days so that I don't have to cook dinner every night.  Taco Soup, White Chicken Chili, and homemade chicken noodle are my "go to" soups.

4.  Celery.  The past few weeks I have been craving celery like it is going out of style...Can't get enough.  I looked it up and found out that if you are working out more (which I am) then you crave celery because your body needs more sodium...Interesting.

5.  And I had to add chocolate.  I don't eat it every day, or all the time...but I have to admit, if I am stressed or having a bad day, a piece of Dove Chocolate is just what the doctor ordered!

4 Things I Want to Teach My Kids:

1.  To be self-sufficient.  Nuff said.

2.  To be good citizens and respect others.

3.  To love Heavenly Father first, and have a relationship with Him.

4.  To clean up after themselves.  Sure wish this one would happen soon!

4 Things I'd Do if I Were a Billionaire:

1.  Pay off all my bills.

2.  Pay off my parents house so my dad could retire, and send them to Scotland and Ireland...my mother's dream.

3.  Take my entire family on vacation - no spending limits.

4.  Help others in any way that I can.  Paying off people's layaway's at Christmas like the people in the news last Christmas, helping people make a difference in the world.

4 People I Tag:  

I think that there are a few people (maybe two) that read my blog...oh, and no fair putting both Kristen and I as one person, Becky...that way we can't tag each other!

1.  So, I'm still gonna tag Kristen, because I beat her on completing this assignment!

2.  Jen (Yes little Miss Mayberry Jen, that's you!)

3.  Lisa (If you are reading this...it has been WAY too long since you blogged, girl!)

4.  Lois (well, if you had a blog...you really need one - way too many cute grandkid stories!)

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

A letter to my children...

Dear Children,

There are a few things that have been going on at our house lately that make me crazy...and laugh like a loon...Someday, when you read this, I'm sure you won't remember any of it...documenting for posterity's sake.

To my #1 hoarder...we cleaned your room again today for the 3rd time this month.  This time, we went through all the drawers and refolded the clothes.  There ARE better ways to spend a lovely Sunday afternoon, son!  Please refrain from saving every empty wrapper, baggie from your snack, tag from your new clothes, etc.  Those shows that we have had you watch are REAL!  Love you tons....hope next month goes better!

Dear, sweet/funny/exasperating child...Your new habit of putting plastic baggies over your head is really freaking us out!  We've locked all of the big ones up now so that you won't suffocate yourself.  I know you watched that space movie last week, and are just trying to recreate helmets (very creative, by the way) but it is giving ME grey hair...I think, under all my roots...Oh, and it is also not acceptable to put plastic bags over your stuffed animals' heads.  They need air to breathe, too...Just ask Woody from Toy Story!

To my Contrary Princess...Rolling your eyes and stomping around whenever I ask you to do something is NOT working for me.  For crying out loud, you are 8, not 13...put on your big girl panties and deal with it!  Trust me, things will only get better from here! ;)  Oh, and word to the wise...if you help more and complain less, I will like you a lot more and will do more fun things with you...got it??? Good.

To Queen picky...Where do I even begin?  Asking for a snack before dinner is over is not in your best interest...Your fascinating display this evening of spreading salad dressing on all of your lettuce leaves, then sucking it off was really special...Thanks for that!  Anyway, if you don't start eating something besides fruit and chicken nuggets soon, I'm not sure if you will be the fairest in the land...girl gotta have some nutrition to be beautiful!

To Princess Sweet Pea...While you are showing the signs of independence, I love that you still want to "hold" me when you go to sleep at night...You have issues of your own, but watching you discover the world is a beautiful thing...Oh, and last night when you wouldn't let me go potty because I was holding you, and 5 minutes later asked me if I had "peed in my pants", I realized that you are definitely related to all the rest of my little hellions!

Love you all - hope this week brings about some progress and some new/exciting/not so dangerous issues...

Love,

Mom

One of those days...

Some days make you want to scream, don't they???

Today has been one of those days...it started out with the dog peeing on the floor of the boys' room.  Yuck.  This single event had the power to make us late.  For everything.  Threw breakfast at the kids, shoved them out the door, jumped in the car for yet another long trek out to Eagleville.  We were actually barely on time for Alyssa to go to school - small victory!

Went and worked out - that was good - made me feel like a rock star that I can do a resistance of 10 and most of the "New Years Resolution" crowd beginners around me could barely do a 1.  I know, mean, but it made me feel good about how far I have come...

Anyway, ran a bunch of errands - decided to go to lunch at one of my favorite places "Taco Express" (soon to be renamed Oscar's Taco Shop, since they are related)...Took Ashleigh (who is potty training) to the bathroom a zillion times.

Then, Kristen and I went to Sam's Club to renew our membership.  We were able to save a little money and get a business membership, due to my job...we walked around for a bit - about 1/2 an hour, and checked out.

Clay met me in the parking lot to get his lunch from my car.  And then, my husband, who is the person who probably wouldn't notice if I stood on the street corner with my entire body painted neon orange said, "What is on your pants???"  Um.  I don't know.  What does it look like?  I am afraid to look.  "Well, poop.  It looks like poop." 

Oh man.  I had been walking around Sams for over 1/2 an hour and I had something nasty on the back of my pants?  Kristen - I owe you one!  I sneaked a look.  "Yup.  It looked like poop.  But, we determined that I must have sat in some nasty looking refried beans at lunch.  Clay sponged me off (Bless him) and I continued on my errands.

Later on, we were on our way back from the eye doctor getting #1's new glasses.  We had 3 children screaming at us.  Like banshees.  It was awful, couldn't even drown them out with loud music.  So, I did what every other self-respecting parent would do.  I pulled over to the side of a country road.  Pulled out my book, and told them that we would be sitting there until they stopped.  At first, I don't think that they believed me.  But after 5 minutes, when I was still reading my book, and it was getting darker and they were getting hungrier, they decided to shut their pieholes.

We continued on our way.  Only to have another tantrum at home.

So, now I have a headache.  And need chocolate.  And a vacation.  From my kids.  And my house.  And winter.  And bills.  And doctor appointments which create more bills.

I think that I am going to bed early tonight.  With a bag of chocolate chips and a pile of new library books....Pure bliss!

Double Baptism...

Emma and Reagan turned 8 this week, on November 3rd...we chose to baptize them on Friday evening, November 4th...

Clay and the twins before the baptism

Becoming a young lady before our eyes!

As with any major event, stress was a constant companion...couldn't have done it without the help of my family, yet again!  Thank goodness I learned from Zach's baptism and it went more smoothly this time...It also helped that I didn't just give birth (the case 2 weeks before Zach's baptism - and I was on painkillers!)...

Me with my miracles!

Anyway, we have two brand, spanking new members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in our home.  It is a wonderful, scary thing to be parents...Things went pretty well - Reagan had a few key moments, including stepping into the cold water and trying to get back out, then capping it off with "I'm gonna die" right before Clay dunked him under!  Gotta love him.

So handsome in his suit!

We sure love these kids.  As their Aunt Kristen mentioned in her talk, we prayed for them for years and years...having them come into our family was nothing short of a miracle.

Congratulations on your baptism and confirmation, Emma Elizabeth and Reagan Michael...We love you so much and are so proud of you.

Our "little" family

The Happiest Place on Earth...(vacation part 1)

This is the first of probably several vacation posts...too much to cram into one blog!

Labor Day weekend, we headed back to our favorite place...Disney World.  We went last year and had an awesome time, so we decided to do it all again...We didn't go alone this time - My sister Karen, her husband, Adam, and their son, Campbell also came along...

The drive is super long, but it is well worth it, once we get there.  We hit quite a few snags this time...Ashleigh was really sick that morning, Kristen ended up saving the day and taking her to the doctor for me...she also cleaned out our car for the trip, kept Ashleigh all day, and finished some bows for the girls so that I could finish packing...the biggest snag was- my van, which has a ton of cargo space, was benched for this trip - it had to stay behind at the Dodge dealership for over two thousand dollars worth of repairs...we missed the space, but were so blessed that my parents had a van that we could use - that got us there safely...it also has better gas mileage than our van, so that helped the budget a little bit!

On the way, Clay looked into the backseat and found that Miss Troublemaker (aka Ashleigh) had gotten into my purse and painted herself with my lip gloss...Apparently, a 12 hour drive was a bit much to ask of this 2 year old!

Ashleigh's war paint

We left on a Thursday afternoon and drove all night.  We slept a few hours and then drove the next morning to the Orlando Temple.  We visited the distribution center for some "supplies" and took a few pics...

 

Orlando, FL temple

 

Reagan wouldn't cooperate

Again, he didn't cooperate - but the rest of us look okay!

 After the temple, we went to lunch at a very overpriced McDonald's, then checked into our hotel.....

 To BE Continued...

Happy Birthday, Alyssa!

Okay.  I suck.  Alyssa's birthday was actually on September 19th.  What can I say?  It has been a rough month!  I was sick for most of September with a nasty sinus/bronchitis thing, and I finally feel better now.

But, enough about me...

Minnie Mouse cake that was a labor of love...

She wore her new outfit to school on her actual birthday...

Our little Miss Alyssa turned 4 this year.  Where does the time go?  I am amazed at how much faster my kids birthdays come around than my own did when I was a kid...Things that make you go Hmmmmm....

Anyway, Alyssa is BIG!  Well, not compared to other 4 year olds, really...but, she is so big to us!  She just started school and is learning so darn much it is amazing.  She still has a major diva attitude like she always has - but, she is learning and growing.  I'm pretty proud of her.

Here's the loot!

For Alyssa's birthday, she got a tricycle and a little miniature Beauty and the Beast castle thing that she absolutely loves.  (Craigslist is an awesome resource!)  Grandma and Grandpa gave her a new fleece Cinderella blanket that has completely overtaken my Tinkerbell quilt that I made her last year...She got a super cute outfit from Aunt Kristen and a Belle doll from Aunt Karen...In other words, she hauled....again!

Modeling her new blanket

Saying Goodbye to an Old Friend...

A few days ago, my mom called me and said that their dog was acting like she had suffered a stroke.  She couldn't walk, was having accidents, was shaking, etc.  Belle was over 15 years old - 112 dog years.  Years ago, when Clay and I were first married, several of us went to the pound to try to "win" a small dog in a lottery.  They had to pull a number because so many people wanted a small dog.  I happened to be visiting from Utah that weekend and went along, to "up" the numbers - so we would have more of a chance to win her.

Wouldn't you know it, I won the dog.  And instantly wanted her for myself!  I reluctantly left her with my parents and over the years, many people have offered for her.  Pretty much any one of us kids would have taken her in a minute if my parents hadn't wanted her.

Time marches on, and Belle grew older, as we all must do.

We have been expecting her to leave us for a while now, but we were all really hoping that she would go in her sleep...a fitting end for a good pet.

It wasn't to happen, and today, the difficult decision was made to help Belle pass over to the other side.

Clay went over this afternoon to help dig the hole in the rocky ground of Mom and Dad's property.  When the kids came home from school, they wondered where he was.  I chose to tell them that Belle was really sick and old and was going to die today.  Dad was over helping to dig a hole so that she could be buried.

The kids took it pretty well, then Emma decided that she wanted to say "goodbye" before Belle went to live with Heavenly Father.  Knowing that Kristen was taking her kids over for the same purpose, I piled them into the car and we went to pay our respects.

I'm not sure what I expected - but it was evident when we arrived that Belle really did not have much more time - she was very disoriented and lay very still.  The kids went to say goodbye and pet her.  Emma said something like, "Goodbye Belle.  Have fun with Heavenly Father.  I hope you have a happy ending!"  Mom kind of grimaced and said, "Gee - I hope I have a happy ending!"

I came into the room and said her name, and darned if the old girl didn't try to sit up as straight as she used to in order to greet me.  I patted her head and had her rest her weary soul on the pillow.  Tears came into my eyes as I remembered all of the times that she cuddled with me when she came to my house when my parents were out of town, or how she would scavenge the floor after the kids ate something for a treat!  It's funny - you don't think that you can feel the spirit when a pet is getting ready to pass to the other side, but I swear that there was something in that room.  Peace.  Kristen felt it too, so I know I'm not crazy.

 At 5:45, my dad, Clay, and Adam went to the veterinary clinic and stayed with Belle while she passed.

At 6:45, my "little" family arrived at my parent's home.  We chose to use this as a family home evening lesson - we talked to them on the way about what happens when we die. The kids were all in their pajamas.  Clay began to fill the hole, then I asked Zach if he wanted to try.  He did.  One by one, all of the littler kids lined up behind Zach to take their turn filling the grave.  Tearjerker for us adults.  A stone was placed on top and the kids put flowers on top.  Then we had a few prayers (from the kids).  Emma prayed that Belle would have a good time with Heavenly Father.  Alyssa blessed the food.  We all sang "I Am a Child of God" and said our final goodbyes to a loyal little friend who will be remembered.

Rest in Peace, Belle. 

 

1st Day of School - Times Two...

So, everyone knows that school has already been going for a little while here in good old Tennessee, right?  Yes, I know...I am a bit of a late bloomer in the blogging world - but, here are the kiddos on their first day this year!

We actually had TWO first days of school.  One for the three older kids (Zach, Reagan, and Emma) and a second one for Miss Alyssa!  And it was extra special for the little miss, because it was her 1st day of school EVER!  Where has the time gone...Okay, I know that she is only four (almost), but she is going to pre-k, which is 5 days a week and 6 hours a day.  May not be kindergarten yet, but that is full fledged school in my book...

Aren't they cute? My Big Kids...

Zach, Reagan and Emma are continuing their education at Christiana Elementary School...Z is in the 5th grade (Gulp...middle school starts next year - and he is already wearing deodorant) R and E are both in the 2nd grade...CRAZY to think about since they started out so little and it seems like only yesterday when they were in the special care nursery and couldn't come home until they were almost 5 lbs.

Alyssa - 1st day of pre-k

Alyssa goes to Pre-K at Eagleville School, which we absolutely love - but totally hate the 14 mile drive each way.  She has the same teacher as Emma did 3 years ago - and this teacher is wonderful.  We expect to see Alyssa grow and develop so much in this next year - and are very excited to see what she learns!  So far, she seems to love it, but is a little grumpy when she comes home because the day is a little bit long for such a young scholar.

She wouldn't smile until Emma jumped in the picture!

And, where does that leave our little Ashleigh?  LOST.  She doesn't know what to do with herself.  Every bus she sees MUST have one of her siblings on it.  The other day, I heard her talking to herself in the car...

"Where Emma?" - she answered herself sadly, "At School."

My little sidekick!

"Where Yissa?"...another woebegone, "At School."

She proceeded to do this until everyone was named...she even included Clay and answered that he was "at work"!  A little pathetic, don't you think?  However, she is enjoying the extra cuddles with Mom at naptime and all the attention to herself when we run errands, etc.

Best buddies - when they aren't trying to kill each other

I am excited for this year - and a little sad that almost all of my kiddos are old enough to leave me!  This school year is bound to be chock full of fun anecdotes and happenings, so - STAY TUNED!!!

Where does the time go??? 2 years already!

Blueberry Picking

Our sweet Ashleigh is two today...actually, in about an hour, it will be official.

Amazing how the time flies...my baby is growing up so fast!

We haven't done any of the birthday festivities yet, those will get their own posts...this post is to celebrate Miss Ashleigh Kate and how much we love her!

Today at breakfast - such a cheesy girl!

This little girl is so loving, independent, smart and fun...we pretty much adore her most of the time...and hope it doesn't change much now that she is 2!

Happy Birthday little Miss Ashleigh!  

You bring a smile to even the grumpiest faces!  (This we proved this week at the ENT, when she walked down the hall, even the grouchy nurses had to look and grin at her!)

Oh - and if you scroll down a bit, you will see our blueberry picking adventure...

A Blueberry Pickin' We Will Go....

Yesterday, we went blueberry picking for the 3rd year.  It has now become an annual event at our house.  Kristen and I rounded up 9 kids and ventured out into the heat...

The crop this year wasn't as good as it has been in years past, but it was still a fun outing.  The kids favorite part, of course, is the playground that is on the property that they were able to utilize at the end.  My worst fears came to pass this year and my daring Alyssa, the climbing fool, fell off of the slide right onto her back.  Not gonna lie, I had visions of some scary results from this, but luckily, it just knocked the wind out of her.  Then, she went right back to climbing...of course.  

Kids everywhere!

Zach was my best picker this year...

They were hot and faded fast!

Emma looks like she means business - but maybe picked about 5 blueberries total...

Sophie gets her drink fix...

Playground fun

Evil Canevil

Wish I had a yard like this!

Thankful for my many blessings...

Happy 4th of July!

Perspective

When I was a kid, a new primary song came out.  The song is called "I'll Walk With You" by Carol Lynn Pearson.  I thought it was kind of a lame song - not because of the content, but because the tune wasn't quite as catchy as some of the favorites such as "I Hope They Call Me on a Mission", "We'll Bring the World His Truth", etc.  Now that I have a child who is special needs, this song means a lot more to me.  It still isn't the catchiest song in the Primary Songbook, but the words are very powerful.

Having a child with Autism has been a difficult road.  We are constantly assessing things, figuring out new avenues and ways to help him.  It is so hard for me to watch my little boy have such a hard time grasping new concepts and to also watch him be a total social mess.  There always have been and always will be people who do not understand Reagan.  There are always going to be people in the grocery store who look at me weird because he talks funny, or because he is throwing a fit because he doesn't understand something.  I am learning to look the other way and ignore...but it hurts.  It isn't embarrassment, so much as my profound grief that he will never be like other people and just "get it".  Sometimes, I just want to hide myself and him away in our own little world so that he can't be hurt.  Even though Autism is a "social" disorder, Reagan is very aware when people are making fun of him or being mean.  There have been days when he has come to me, crying in frustration.

If only people could see what I see and what we deal with on a daily basis, there would be a different understanding.  I get frustrated with him sometimes myself...and usually, I am knocked to the ground by something that he says or does that helps me to know how lucky I am to be blessed with such a good little spirit.  Is he perfect?  No.  Can he be a brat sometimes?  Yes.  Are there people who will never understand?  Of course.  Would I give him away, if I had the chance?  Never.  Do I wish that he and I both did not have this cross to bear?  Sometimes.  I will not lie - I wouldn't wish being locked into a social prison upon anyone.  Reagan's life would be a lot easier, if he were just "normal".  Our family life would be easier...we wouldn't have to come up with something to feed him with because of his weird food habits; we wouldn't be thinking constantly about how to handle certain situations; I wouldn't dread going to public places - in case they are an unknown trigger to an overstimulated meltdown.

People look at him, and see a 7 year old.  What they don't see is that he has the social abilities of a 3 year old.   Milestones are usually hit - but much, much later than a normal child would hit them.  Yes, I get frustrated at times, but I have learned over the years that my role as Reagan's mom is to teach him, love him, fight for him (a lot) and accept him for who he is.  Sometimes, he is the glimmer of sunshine in an otherwise dark day.  Other days, he is the cloud that covers the sun (because of a particular bad mood he may be in).  

Most of the time, I am left in wonder at some of the things he has accomplished and that he has had to deal with in his little life.  A lot of surgeries and therapies, etc. etc. and people still can't understand him.  He wants to be understood, though...and if you listen closely enough - he just may surprise you.  This year, he has just started to say prayers by himself...yes, something that others do years before this...but he is doing it...and he wants to do it...Sometimes I worry about his future and I wonder what will happen - and I can't face it or think that far ahead.  I just live in the present right now...and do the best that I can as the protector of a courageous little spirit who is fighting to be heard.

Here are the words to the song - if you haven't heard it before...my perspective these days has changed drastically.

"I'll Walk With You "

by Carol Lynn Pearson

If you don’t walk as most people do,
Some people walk away from you,
But I won’t! I won’t!
If you don’t talk as most people do,
Some people talk and laugh at you,
But I won’t! I won’t!
I’ll walk with you. I’ll talk with you.
That’s how I’ll show my love for you.
Jesus walked away from none.
He gave his love to ev’ryone.
So I will! I will!
Jesus blessed all he could see,
Then turned and said, “Come, follow me.”
And I will! I will!
I will! I will!
I’ll walk with you. I’ll talk with you.
That’s how I’ll show my love for you.

So Thankful....

Well, despite being a total IDIOT and not backing up any of our pictures, we have been blessed beyond our expectations...I found a company that was able to completely save everything that I had lost...

Heck, they even saved some stuff that I deleted that I'd rather not remember...such as, thousands of cookies and temporary internet files that I now have to delete from everything...but - I am not complaining...all of our vacation pics, baby pics, random cuteness pics are accounted for!  It actually was a pretty cheap lesson - it cost a lot less than I thought it would...

To celebrate the joy that filled my heart this afternoon when the little UPS guy came to the door with our new external hard drive full of memories, I am going to post some random pics - just because I can!  When I look at other people's blogs - I really go looking for new pics, so here you go...

The family at the zoo - summer 2010

Emma and her favorite, Cinderella - July 2010

Love this pic!  Kids at Cocoa Beach in FL - 2010

The 3 that weren't afraid of Mickey and Minnie

Alyssa may have eaten sand - not sure

Zach testing out his strength...

Ashleigh - when she was still afraid of the grass!

Reagan dancing to the sound of the surf - Love this kid!