It's a cool night. For some reason, I am restless in my sleep. 4 am and dawn is just around the corner. I am picturing the road that we live on. We are playing in the yard, you and I. All of a sudden, you start running on the side of the road. You have a head start and I can't catch you. You dart into the street...run back to the side...dart out again. I am running, breathless, screaming for you to stop. You don't listen...after all, you are two...
Then, it happens. The truck that is barreling down our road, just like they all do. Apparently, speed limits don't mean anything in the country. I scream louder, and run faster. You dart again, right in front of the truck. My subconscious is hysterical. I kneel next to you and gather your small, lifeless body into my arms and rock.
Then I wake up and look at the clock. My heart is racing, my mind is spinning. All I want is to pull you out of bed and hold you, check you over to make sure that you are okay. That would be silly, why wake you up at 4 am? I doze, on and off for another hour...still processing it in my mind. At 5 am, I hear you cry out. I jump out of bed and go to your room. "My feet are cold", you say...I gather your sweet little body into my arms and bring you into my bed. You snuggle your warm little body into mine, digging your ice cold feet into me. I hold you and my heart calms down, the panic has subsided.
Sometimes, even Mommies have nightmares. Much worse than monsters and things that go bump in the night.